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  • Sakshi Bhushan

Is love marriage successful or arrange marriage ???

Updated: Dec 13, 2022

Marriage is an association between two people, and they are

wholesome responsible for it, both of them equally. It is like a work

in process in which you have to work on it every day, every day you

have to make decisions and take responsibility of it. There would be

lots of problems and mess and you have clear it sometimes together,

sometimes on your own.

So the point which type of marriage is more successful love or

arrange, I would say both or none. Because the mode of marriage is

not that matter, what matter is the individual in that relationship/

marriage, and what their idea about marriage. If two people have

that understanding of each other way of living and ideology and they

think that without expecting them to change they can be their part

and let them be the part of their lives than definitely that marriage

would work.

Also couples should understand that you cannot always give your

100% neither of you. Nor the ratio always would be 50 -50.

Sometime or in some stage you just can give your 30 %, its

okay….the remaining can be given by the other half i.e. the ideal

marriage. Supporting in tough days, be the strength and accept your

partner completely.

Don’t pretend in your marriage, don’t try to be the as good cook as

your partner’s mother or take care him in a similar way to show your

partner or other’s that you are best wife. You are the “wife” and you

will be the one forever and the way you are is “best” so don’t be

someone else. Trust me, initially you are doing it and may be you can

do it for long but some or the other point you are getting frustrated

and disappointed, since you haven’t share your views the other

partner would never understand that you don’t like doing that or you

are just doing for him. The person will get that she loves it and

enjoys it so let her do, in fact expects more.

In that case he is not wrong, you didn’t share your thoughts. He just

get what he is experiencing. It gave us other very important aspect

in marriage… “Communication”. Always communicate with your

partner try to understand his/her mental state. Express yourself as

much as you can and try to understand the expressions. And if you

feel that your partner has misunderstood you or didn’t get you than

talk to them, try to clear yourself and get a clear big picture of the

scenario. Also in this case whatever your partner says do listen it

completely, if you agree its good, if not try to explain your aspects

(after listening the full thing). I believe this marriage is the

relationship where we should keep transparency and benefit of

doubt, I mean the other person is your partner and your better half

you can trust him and give chance; or you can try things because he

is saying.

Another important aspect in marriage is the “space”. You are couple,

you are one unit…agreed but still you are two different individual of

different personality, choices and opinions, respect them. A

relationship will grow effectively when two individuals grow on

individual level too, specially then do not have complaints from each

other that because of you and marriage I can’t do this or that or it

would be much better if I am on my own. And this create unhealthy

rift and blame games between the couples, which create disrespect

and mean attitude. Moreover being one unit, being yourself and

specially loving yourself doesn’t make you selfish rather help you

relationship to grow and you happiness, smile they all are act as

mirror if you are happy you can make others happy too..

I believe if we hold sand very tightly in our fist it will move very

fast, and we didn’t left with anything; empty hands. Similarly in

marriage if you hold it too tightly i.e. don’t give space or privacy,

always nag or complaint or ask too many questions about everything

or every decision or didn’t accept your partner and want to change

them, than you will suffocate your partner and it won’t work. They

don’t want to live in that relationship.


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